Full Name: Xhenet A.
Age: 25
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Occupation: Nevermind
Hobbies: Bicycle riding, spotting awkwardly-worded/grammatically incorrect signs (often in conjunction with bicycle riding), acoustically covering soulful 70’s television show theme songs which Steve will never hear.
Pets: Henry I, co-dependant though ultimately supremely sweet tabby cat. Not be to confused with Henry Hankovich con Guitar, vicious yet adored tiger cat of whom I regretfully lost custody.

1: the heavy part
I feel like it's appropriate to ask you to explain your name.
Well, it’s pronounced Jeanette Alley-ooh. It was a compromise between my Albanian father, who wanted to give me an Albanian name, and my mother, who wanted an American one. End result: Albanian-looking, American-sounding, oft-mispronounced. I must admit that I’ve had an easier time with it than my brother Kyjtim has had with his. Mine’s got more vowels. People like vowels.

But you're actually from Connecticut, we understand??
Yes, from Waterbury, the former Brass Capital of the World. Now it’s Criminal Mayor Capital of the World, with several of the mayors in my lifetime having ended up behind bars. Crimes range from the usual corruption and embezzling all the way up to the most recent conviction of Philip Giordano, currently serving 37 years for sexual assaults on 8 and 10-year old girls.

So how did you end up in New York?
Mostly because it’s not Waterbury. The food is great, too.

Has Nueva York lived up (or down) to your expectations?
Hmm. Not really. But I mostly blame that on unrealistic expectations.

Ideally, what will your life look like on New Year's Day 2004?
Hopefully, in addition to the usual New Year’s Day morning spent dreaming up fantasies/plans/escapes for 2004, I’ll be looking back on 2003 and saying, Yeah, I got shit done. And I’ll remember the events of the previous night.

Have your early to mid '20s been like you imagined?
They’ve gotten off to a slower start than I would have imagined. I thought college, then decent job and stack of publications, then maybe a year of indulgent reckless abandon before I settle into stability. I’ve only really managed to get the college part done. But now, at 25, I feel like the proverbial train is on track. It’s the Year of Follow-Through. Or the Year of the Sheep, depending on which zodiac you follow.

Which was the best year, you-wise, of your life?
I think my years have been pretty karmically balanced, actually. Good stuff happens, not-so-good stuff happens. It all works out. I move on.

(Aside: spell-check offered “karmic ally” as a replacement for the unrecognized “karmically.” I’d fucking love a karmic ally.)

How long have you been playing guitar, and how did you get so good at it?
I’m going to downgrade so good to pretty good. I first picked up the guitar around age 12, spent the next 8-10 years playing the same few chords, and then took about a year of lessons in my early twenties. The lessons were good for expanding my vocabulary, but it wasn’t until I realized that, like writing, it’s not choosing the fanciest expression, but the right one. That’s when I started figuring out how to make music instead of just playing notes. I’m most definitely still at the early stages of that, though. And I can’t sing at all, which drives me crazy. The best I can do is essentially whisper into a microphone, which when people besides Cat Power do it makes me want to punch them.

2: the not-heavy part
Describe a good night out on the town...
It would not take place in winter ever. Aside from that, I’d hope that things wouldn’t go exactly as planned, because that usually ends up rather boring. I guess maybe that’s one way in which New York has lived up to my expectations: shit just happens all the time. You’re walking down the street and an impromptu parade is marching down East 4th, and the grandmaster is, say, Richard Simmons, and you’re so distracted by his mermaid costume that you walk right into two or three of The Strokes (although really, who can tell them apart from anyone else anymore). That would be a good night.

And a good night in the apartment, describe that, too.
Umm, donuts…

Current favorite ethic food and, if possible, dish.
If you really mean ethic food, I’d have to say something morally conscious like a freshly-fallen, gently bruised Fuji apple. If you mean ethnic food, I’ll go with the old standby: Indian, preferably a Navratan Korma so heavy I can’t eat for the next three days.

What have you been listening to?
In the classic vein, some Stones, some Young. In the I’m-almost-but-not-completely-out-of-touch-with-contemporary-music vein, I like the rock'n'roll stylings of young fellows Neil Michael Hagerty and Ted Leo and the quietly powerful Gillian Welch, Iron & Wine, and Tara Jane O’Neil. I assure you that I do not listen to Kim Carnes’ “Betty Davis Eyes” every few days. Nope.

You're getting ready to go out: Which song do you blast on the stereo?
"Bitch," the Rolling Stones.

Was hast you been been reading?
I recently finished Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and I can’t wait to go to Savannah. I’m in the home stretch of The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, having waited for the more portable paperback version and the Oprah hubbub to quiet down, and I like a lot more than I want to and in fact think it’s one of the best books I’ve read in quite a while. Thank god it doesn’t have one of those Oprah labels on it. I absolutely adore the Irish author Roddy Doyle, whose writing essentially taught me the whole not-fanciest-but-right approach to art that I mentioned earlier. And I read the headlines to the NY Post and New York Daily News and laugh and laugh.

By the way, I want Mr. Doyle’s A Star Called Henry back, you thieving, hippie jerk. You know who you are.

What have you been watching on TV?
Three minutes of everything.

Seen any movies lately? What did you think?
I’m not even going to get into Capturing the Friedmans. I’ve been watching some Spanish movies like Sex and Lucia and Talk to Her. I think it’s hilarious that these are mainstrem films in Spain but art flicks in America. Besides, I like full-frontal nudity. I also recently saw Jackass the Movie. Those are the kind of guys you want as boyfriends because they’re so hot and funny and idiotic, even though you know they’d make you miserable. They’re the boyfriends in a Liz Phair song.

3: the cocktail party
So you’re having a cocktail party: list five A-list guests, other than Jesus, me and your friends...
Who says you’re invited?

Anyway… Charlie Watts, my favorite Stone, to stand against the wall and be as cool as he fucking is. The out-of-their-skulls darlings of art brut, Henry Darger and Adolf Wolfi, which could go either really well or really, really horribly. Dorothy Parker, so my party would be mocked in the society pages. The Fanta girls, to serve the drink listed below.

What drinks will you serve?
Maybe Malibu and Fanta, something that would make everybody so sick they’d have to stay overnight. You can’t really get to know somebody until the morning after.

What will be in the stereo?
Um, not "Betty Davis Eyes." Really.

Conversation topics will include…
It would be absolutely no fun if I could dictate or predict the conversation.

How will the evening end?
With the sun.