Full Name: Joseph Michael P.
Age: 24 (until September 28)
Location: New York City (specifically E. 117th St, Manhattan)
Occupation: Video Editor (ideally), Office Monkey (really)
Hobbies: Film, theatre, music, guitar, reading, journaling, cooking, Yoga
Pets: Do roaches and mice count?

1: the heavy part
You are very freshly in Neuva York?
I moved here on July 7, 2003. I took up residence with Ben Hill (of former Dakota Room fame), who very graciously opened his home and his kitchen to me, asking nothing in return. That’s been the vibe I’ve gotten from pretty much everyone I know here, welcoming and generous. I think most people who live here remember their own experience of moving and having virtually nothing to start with, and they remember all the people who helped them get established, so they’re willing to pass the favor on to others.

I’m amazed at how quickly I was able to consider New York “home,” even while spending my mornings waking up confused on Ben’s sofabed. I’ve since adjusted to the tenor of life, but I still get exhausted sometimes just doing simple things.

You’re actually from Pennsylvania, no? But not Ben’s town? What’s the difference?
That’s correct. I spent almost my entire life growing up in Blue Bell, PA, a suburb northwest of Philadelphia. My middle school and high school were in Ben’s hometown of Ambler, which is basically right next door.

There’s a lot of difference between the two towns, pretty fundamental differences actually. Blue Bell has that “squeaky clean” suburb feel, and there’s sadly little activity past 10pm. The pharmaceutical and healthcare industries have been thriving there for the past 15-20 years, and the resulting vibe is one of overpriced shopping and nonexistent nightlife. You have to drive for at least 10 minutes to do ANYTHING in Blue Bell, and most of the time I’d wind up leaving Blue Bell anyway (except, of course, Blue Bell is the home of Facenda Whitaker Lanes, the most popular Sunday-night-spot for myself and most of my friends during high-school summers).

Ambler has a nostalgic, 50’s/60’s “small town” vibe, the feeling of community kids playing stickball and walking to the ice cream shop or pizza parlor. There’s infinitely more to do, and if you’re a resident most of it is in reasonable walking distance.

Of course I don’t want to dis my hometown, and I’ll never forget my Blue Bell roots, but my 24-year-old self identifies much more with Ambler’s coolness than my 17-year-old self did.

How did you end up here?
In March, my fiancée Stephanie was accepted to the Graduate Acting program at NYU. We knew we’d end up here sooner or later, but this gave us the nudge we needed. I quit my job, sold my car, left my transitory apartment, and moved in with Ben indefinitely. Steph just made it up here permanently in mid-August when we settled our new apartment in Spanish Harlem.

Has NYC lived up (or down) to your expectations?
My experience with New York was pretty limited, and I didn’t really know what to expect so I approached the whole situation with little preconception. One thing I knew for certain (and welcomed gladly) was that I would never have to drive anywhere. Although I do miss my car, and I miss driving stick. I definitely didn’t expect to feel this at-home this fast, so that’s another pleasant surprise.

Ideally, what will your life look like on New Year’s Day 2004?
Well, New Year’s Day 2004 is a Thursday, so it would be nice to wake up knowing I’d unquestionably have Friday off. But that doesn’t have much to do with life. I suppose, I’d be continuing the growth and discovery that moving here has afforded me, and I’d be in slightly more stable financial territory. Stephanie and I will be greatly anticipating our wedding in August.

Have your early to mid ‘20s been like you imagined? Why or why not?
I imagined them to be different at different ages of growing up. When I was 10, I was convinced that I’d be a marine biologist when I was 25, but that was due to my childhood obsession with the movie “Jaws.” That vision has faded, although the obsession hasn’t. Even as recently as a year ago, I didn’t expect to be living in New York City by this point. In my mid-to-late teens, I stopped trying to predict what life would be like at various stages, because I learned that life is too unpredictable. I tend to form these idyllic pictures of the future in my head, and when they don’t come true, I’m left disappointed.

Which was the best year, you-wise, of your life? Why?
I think the best year is always the one coming. Of course I value my past experiences since they’ve shaped me into who I am, but in addition to forming idyllic pictures of the future, I also catch myself pining for things past. They’re equally depressing situations, and I almost feel like it’s an insult to your present.

And it’s tough to pinpoint, because when I was 18, I would have said senior year of high school (and the following summer) was the best, because it was nothing but movies, bowling, and hanging out. I was in a band with Ben and our friend Jon, and senior year at our school was a joke. We’d skip class all the time and go out to breakfast. But then of course college happened, and I started my once-burgeoning acting career, and then I studied in Ireland, started dating Steph my third year, spent my final semester studying film in California. And now I live in New York.

So I’ll defy the laws of physics and verb tense and say the best year of my life WAS the year starting today.

So you’re a filmmaker?
In a sort of way, yes. I have a hard time calling myself a filmmaker, since I’ve only ever actually made one “film.” It was called “Last Time”, it’s a 2-minute, silent, black-and-white short shot on 8mm film. I love movies, and I’ve been making movies (on video) with friends since I was 17. In high school I was involved with the TV lab program, and that began my torrid love affair with editing, which continues to this day. My biggest career ambition is to one day be a feature film editor, and I’d also love to go to graduate school for film and become a college professor. I don’t think I could ever direct a feature though; I’m too bitchy and particular. All my actors would quit on me.

Highlight of your film-making career to this point?
Last summer, I finally finished editing a movie called “Full Cycle.” It’s an absurdist comedy/action short, the combined final chapter of two sagas of movies made by myself and several friends from high school (Ben Hill, Andy Shal, Jon Fischer, Nowell Valeri, and Matt Eisen, for name-dropping purposes). We had shot it in the summer of 2000, and at the time I had an editing system at home. Shortly after we shot it, my editing system crashed and died, so the footage got shelved and we all thought it would never see the light of day again. After two years of wrangling, we finally put together an editing system that could do the job, and I worked in pseudo-secrecy from the other guys putting it together. We premiered it at my house last August, and it was just so fulfilling to see all the guys laughing hysterically at this project, especially since it was all-but forgotten.

Of course, within the first couple weeks I was in New York, during one of my job application binges, I applied for a job on Craigslist seeking an editor for a black/Latino gay male adult film. I never heard anything back from them, but if I did, that may have trumped in the category of film-making career highlight.

You knew Ben growing up, eh? What must that have been like?
Hahahahahahaha. Ben. That guy. Ben was the guy with glasses in seventh grade who wound up in every single class that I had. Even then his life was defined by two things: music and baseball. He had a Phillies hat that, at one time, was brand new; he bought it right after they updated their logo. He still has that hat, and it is the most sadly dilapidated piece of baseball memorabilia to date. That speaks to who he is, though; he’s an incredibly dedicated guy, to both close friends and old baseball hats. He was a creature of principle then, and that hasn’t changed.

2: the not-heavy part
Describe a good night out on the town...
Any good night out should involve good friends, good food, and no worries. Okay, this sounds like an Outback Steakhouse commercial. Let me start over.

I suppose the best way to enjoy a night out is to make sure everyone you’re with can just enjoy themselves without any hang-ups. Like, no one would be worrying about “oh, I don’t really have enough money for this” or “oh I don’t feel like driving” or that kind of thing. I guess it doesn’t matter if it’s dinner, barhopping, a rock show, a baseball/hockey game, a movie, whatever. As long as everyone’s having fun and there’s no bullshit, I’m happy. One great way to kill a good time: gather a group of indecisive people, none of whom wants to be the dominant voice and say “THIS is what we’re doing, THIS is when we’re leaving,” and so on.

And a good night in the apartment, describe that, too.
Steph is my favorite person to “do nothing” with, so my perfect night in the apartment would be the two of us making a good dinner, eating said dinner with a good bottle of wine, then having some tea while watching a movie, reading, playing cards or chess, or just talking. I know, we’re nerds.

Current favorite ethnic food and, if possible, dish.
My front-runner for overwhelming enjoyment and satisfaction is Thai. My ideal Thai meal: Thai iced tea to drink, lemon grass soup with shrimp, followed by steamed vegetable dumplings, an entree of red curry (spice factor: 4 stars out of 4) with chicken, vegetables, and jasmine rice in coconut milk, and for dessert, non-dairy green tea ice cream (if such a beautiful thing ever existed).

Living with Ben also gave me a newfound appreciation for Indian food, especially mulligatawny soup and vegetable vindaloo. And I’m a sucker for good sushi.

What have you been listening to?
I recently got introduced to Neil Young and Eminem (et tu, Ben?), so they have been listening mainstays. I also got an album called “O” by Damien Rice, which is so mournfully beautiful that I can’t listen to it often, but every time I do I enjoy it more and more. And I saw Grand Buffet perform at Piano’s recently, so I’ve been on a GB kick. Actually, I’ve been on a 2-year-long GB kick. So I guess it doesn’t qualify as a kick. I have been listening to more of my admittedly meager vinyl collection too, which includes two albums of Scott Joplin’s piano rags and classic Sinatra. The Joplins are great, it makes me feel like we have a player piano in the apartment.

What hast you been reading?
I’ve been struggling through Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury, which I started right after I moved here. I still have about a quarter of the way to go.

What have you been watching on TV?
We decided to go TV-free in our apartment, so hopefully within a few weeks I’ll be able to better answer the previous question.

Seen any movies lately? What did you think?
This past week suddenly became “Movie Week” without warning. I saw four movies within five days, and capped it off with two Broadway shows on the weekend. Unprecedented!

Dirty Pretty Things – This movie was great, if not a little depressing. It deals with illegal immigrants in London, and the lengths to which they will go to escape their own personal purgatories.

2001: A Space Odyssey – I saw this in Bryant Park, and it had been since high school since I had seen it. It reiterated how much I love Kubrick’s work, and why. It’s hypnotic and gorgeous, but vague enough to make you think. [Then they made “2010” and tried to explain a lot of the vagueness away. Which sucks.]

Freddy vs. Jason – Ben and I saw this, and we’ll remember it forever. This movie accomplishes everything it sets out to accomplish, and is hilarious in its devotion to ridiculousness. Who knew Elm Street was so geographically close to Camp Crystal Lake? Why have Freddy and Jason never met before?

Swimming Pool – I expected to like this a lot more than I did. The intrigue and plot-twist at the end had so little gravity for me that I just didn’t care what the explanation was anyway. I liked the overall style, subtle and quiet, but it just didn’t pull me in the way a good film should.

You’re getting ready to go out: Which song do you blast on the stereo?
“I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” by the Beatles. During the extended jam at the end, I’m ever-so-gradually increasing the volume as the song builds toward orgiastic fury, until it abruptly cuts off. Then I stride purposefully out the door, continuing on the energy high the song has given me.

3: the cocktail party
So you’re having a cocktail party: list five A-list guests, other than Jesus, me and your friends... 1. Conan O’Brien 2. David Ives (playwright, author of the series of hysterical short plays “All In The Timing”) 3. Ingrid Bergman (circa Notorious) 4. Alfred Hitchcock (circa The Birds) 5. I’m going to echo/trump Ben and say the ENTIRE vocal cast of “The Simpsons”, AND Matt Groening, who will, at request, sketch Simpsons-style caricatures of the various party guests.

What drinks will you serve?
Yuengling Lager, various spirits for mixing purposes, good red wine. Ingrid would nurse a vodka martini, straight up, while just standing there chatting and being beautiful and classy.

What will be on the stereo?
I’m a sucker for good background jazz, so the night would start with that. Good stuff though, from the 50’s and 60’s, not “wedding reception” background jazz. World of difference. Then as the night wore on, selections would get louder and more varied: Grand Buffet, Beck, Black Sabbath, Zeppelin, Royal Trux, Beastie Boys, Eminem, Antipop Consortium, Neil Young, Nebula, DJ Shadow, The Grassy Knoll, GusGus, Ween...... I could go on, but won’t.

Conversation topics will include...
With Conan, David Ives, and the Simpsons crew, the evening would inevitably devolve into absurd comedy, to which I NEVER object, but no one would feel pressured to perform or “be on.” Everyone would just casually and pleasantly laugh and interact. Hitch would comment on modern-day filmmaking with his hilarious dry stoicism, and confess to Stephanie that she would have been a shoe-in to play Marion Crane’s sister in Psycho. Conan and I would discuss plans for me to become a recurring guest. Ives would relentlessly hit on Bergman. At some point in the evening, I would pull Hitch aside for a heart-to-heart and dissuade him from making Frenzy. The Simpsons cast would improv discussions in various character voices. Jesus would reveal himself to have a wonderful sense of humor, joining in the improv sessions with impeccable timing.

How will the evening end?
The Simpsons cast would break into collective song toward the end of the night, improvising a number lauding me as the party host and recapping the major events of the night with witty zing, before exiting in a massive musical flourish. Ives and Conan would share a cab. Hitch would escort Bergman home, classy gent that he is. Stephanie and I would bid farewell to the remaining guests before retiring to our bedroom for.... sleep. And other activities involving a bed.