Full Name: James M.
Age: 27
Location: Rancho Cucamonga, CA (40 miles east of Los Angeles)
Occupation: Claims Representative, math tutor
Hobbies: Desert hiking, writing, travelling
Pets: None

1: the heavy part
Where are you from, originally? What was it like there?
This is my standard refrain: "born in England, raised in South Africa". If you have an hour, I can recall what it was like growing up in a society that transformed from a white supremacist theocracy when I was in 1st grade to a democracy when I was in 12th grade. In between, there was time in England for high school, too (I went back and forth), but it was not as exciting and nailbiting a time. South Africa's a beautiful country, is progressing fine despite what the white South African expats will tell you and despite such news-making trauma as AIDS and violence and despite lingering largescale economic disparity upon racial lines. England, I could rant forever about that place. Needless to say, European first, Briton second.

How did you end up in Pittsburgh?
Parents moved in early '96 to Pittsburgh. I was originally planning to go to University in the UK, but felt an American degree would do me better. I was not wrong.

How did you land in Rancho Cucamonga?
The summer of 2001 was bleak for college graduates looking for work in Pittsburgh. I got a three month contract job in Denver, then continued moving west until I hit the Pacific Ocean. Did some temp work in the Santa Monica and El Segundo area, before moving 50 miles East to the roasty hot Inland Empire for a full-time job. I'll be moving in September to the U.S. Capital of Self-Absorbtion, Orange County, for grad school.

Update us on your situation in life.
No worries, no complaints. Still single, still good looking and young, still English and have not been crushed by the system yet. Going to grad school in the Fall for my MA in Economics. I have one of those steady professional job thingies that some people rave about, no financial worries, and occasionally worry I don't have the energy to pursue what I like to do.

Ideally, what will your life look like on New Year's Day 2005?
I will be in Rosarito, Mexico, celebrating the fact that I got A's for the two classes I take this Fall. Should the school I'm going to piss me off even more than they have this summer, I will celebrate by transferring those credits for Microeconomics and Macroeconomics to my back-up school in San Diego and picking up again in January 2005.

Have your early to mid 20s been like you imagined? Why or why not?
If you're asking if they went as planned, in that I hit the right marks at the right time and didn't screw up, yes, it went like I imagined. I always had a notion of taking two to three years off to work before grad school, and career-wise, despite the fact that I find the job mindnumbingly routine, it may come to be useful experience in the future. As for how I might have imagined my life going, it could always have gone on a more spectacular and interesting course, but it doesn't do good to think about that, lest I start regretting things. And I'm not one for regret.

Which was the best year, for you, of the aforementioned early to mid 20s? Why?
1999 was awesome. Spring Break in Fort Myers, two trips to Ocean City, Maryland, steered an entire division of a student newspaper into oblivion, Milwaukee Metal Festival, Rainbow Gathering in Ridgeway, PA. Toronto, tons of trips to Cleveland for death metal concerts. Lots of experiences to remember. Some bad, but in hindsight very funny experiences (such as the combination of faults that caused my Jeep Wrangler to blow up), some sexual situations that would make Hugh Grant blush, and lots of rowdiness. I've not had bad years since, but that was a stand-out.

You wrote a screenplay for an existentialist slasher flick?
Yes, and it's as awful as it sounds. I've long since buried it. It was meant as satire in the "American Psycho" in high school vein, but I could never really get it gel.

You were arrested in Mexico? How did you get out of that one?
$40. It was all over in five minutes. My friend Damon was collared by Police in Nuevo Laredo with a pocket knife and handcuffed. True to cliche, the police were more interested in us paying a "fine" rather than dragging us to the station, where no doubt the "fine" would be lining someone else's pockets.

Favorite brand of malt liquor? Why?
I'm pretty much over that. As are most people who have graduated college. But Mongoose is the favourite. The image on the can of the mongoose tucking its fangs into a King Cobra stays with you forever. If I find a can of it on the West Coast, I'll have to take it with me to a tattoo parlour.

2: the not-heavy part
Describe a good night out...
Variety of activity. A great night out last year for me was going with two friends to the Orange Blossom Festival in Riverside, CA for an afternoon of beer-drinking, outdoor music (John Tesh on the Harvest Christian Fellowship Stage, right next to the Cuervo Gold booth!) and food. We immediately followed it up with minor league baseball, watching a Rancho Cucamonga Quakes game ($4.00 24-oz Sierra Nevada!). The evening was rounded out with jazz at Lake Alice in Riverside.

And a good night in the apartment – describe that, too.
A DVD rental and wine with company, particularly of the feminine persuasion.

Current favorite ethnic food and, if possible, dish.
Around here, you eat Mexican or starve. Menudo has become my new hangover food.

What have you been listening to?
In Flames and Fear Factory have come out with killer albums this year. This month I saw Cattle Decapitation headline the L.A. Gates of Metal Fest and Italy's Lacuna Coil open for P.O.D., of all bands.

Was hast you been reading?
All sort, though mostly biography, current affairs and science fiction. Just completed Roy Jenkins's dry biography of Victorian-era Prime Minister William Gladstone. I've also read recently Scott Liell's brief and overly simplistic assessment of Thomas Paine's Common Sense, and Kim Stanley Robinson's The Years of Rice and Salt.

What have you been watching on TV?
Not much. I don't own one. Is it an accomplishment, though, to say that I caught most of "Enterprise" Season 3 by watching it at other peoples' apartments?

Seen any movies lately? What did you think?
Nothing of interest. Saved was mildly amusing, but not as brutal or scathing of Christian hypocrisy as it could have been. Summer's meant for rubbish. Bring on Alien vs. Predator.

3: the cocktail party
So you’re having a cocktail party: list five A-list guests, other than Jesus, me and your friends...
1.) Nelson Mandela. He's on everyone's list. I'd like him on mine, too.
2.) John Redwood. Bond villain turned Tory Member of Parliament. Caused much merriment in my teenage years in England as Welsh secretary when he refused to live to Wales and for his classic rant about single mothers. Looks like the younger, Vulcan version of Astronomer Royal Sir Martin Rees, who'd also be a shoo-in on this list.
3.) Linda Park. Did I say I liked "Enterprise"? And that I've gone through a Korean phase in my dating activity?
4.) Andrew W.K. It always amazed me how much people are annoyed by this affable metal goofball. He can party hard all he likes at my gig.
5.) Paul Verhoeven.

What drinks will you serve?
Apple martinis.

What will be on the stereo?
Some South African jazz. Hugh Masakela would do fine.

Conversation topics will include…
* What one can do to rid the White House of the Bush Junta.
* Ditto 10 Downing Street for Blair.
* Third World economic development.
* Wimminz. Nelson Mandela is quite the ladies man. 27 years of prison don't make him less a Casanova.

How will the evening end?
The sun will rise, indicating that everyone should go home.