Full Name: Beth S.
Age: 24
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Occupation: Web designer
Hobbies: Painting, writing, karaoke-ing, spending money, reading, eating, drinking alcohol probably a little too frequently
Pets: None. Sometimes I think about getting fish. Used to have a bunny rabbit, but she was murdered by three dogs. R.I.P. Pudgy, 1980-something to 1990-something.

1: the heavy part
Update us on your situation in life.
Well, the times they are a'changin' for old me. I'm going to move, and I'm going to find a new job. My salary has decreased in my three years of employment, and it's time for me to stop doing nothing about it.

I flirted with the idea of moving to Stockholm with my brother, but I don't think that's in our cards this year. So, in all likelihood I'll be living in New York before the year is out. I think I'm ready. Having a few close friends there certainly helps. I have to figure out how to make what I really want to do a reality. "What I really want to do" = things like writing books and being a voiceover actor for cartoons and getting people to buy my art. I'd also like to go to grad school at some point. Figuring out how to do what I want is not going to be easy, but I'll try anything. Well, except porn. Well, maybe if it's artful enough. I just found this guy on Craig's List who takes photos of nude women hanging out in the New York subway system. I mean, what do I have to lose by posing naked on the subway? Self-respect?

I'm just kidding. I'd probably get some weird disease(s) sitting on those seats with my bare buttocks.

Wow. Have you considered picking up a copy of Sea Changes by Beck?
I'm leaving your funny response in. You thought I was going to talk about being single. When you sent this to me I was newly single. I have to say, the end of last year and beginning of this one have not been the most fun when it comes to matters of the heart. But that's the roller coaster of life. Things get better when it's time. So I'm keepin' the faith.

Oh, but I do like the Beck record.

Ideally, what will your life look like on New Year's Day 2004?
That's hard to say right now. I want to wake up on New Year's Day and feel content. I want to have a lot on my plate, but I want it to be the things I want to eat. Or want to have on my plate, anyway.

Have your early to mid '20s been like you imagined? Why or why not?
It depends on when you would have asked me how I had imagined them. In the back of my mind, though, I think I've been carrying around a picture of how life is supposed to be for a young lady in her 20s, and I didn't think my life was that. It lacked adventure. Life was always fun, but I felt an unease about the way it was going. I felt like there weren't enough people in my life and there weren't enough stimuli. I'm working on changing that. Slowly, it's starting to become something that I'll be able to write about someday. I mean, I really think everyone's life is worth writing about, but having some meaty stuff to put into whatever I end up writing is better than not.

Which was the best year, for you, of the aforementioned early to mid '20s? Why?
Hm. I don't know. I feel like every year is valuable. This one has been harder than most. That might make it the best, ultimately.

Which was the best year, you-wise, of your life?
Five. It was a very confident year for me. I was a pretty little blonde thing and got a lot of attention.

In kindergarten, they pulled me out of class because I could read and had me write and illustrate a book. I wrote about my family going to the beach.

When I hung out with my female cousins, they all wanted to sit next to me. They would argue about it. It was probably because they all had sisters and there was just one of me, but it made my head bigger than it needed to be.

Then some girl who lived down the street told her mom she wanted to be me. I don't think there's been a year since where someone has wanted to be me, though maybe people do and I am just not privy to that knowledge.

I also had this Philadelphia Eagles' cheerleader outfit that I felt absolutely sexy in.

When I was five, I felt like I could do anything. Sometimes I still feel like that, but it's sort of absurd. I couldn't perform surgery, for instance. Or be a cop.

Compare those two years. How were they different? How were they the same?
Well, I have breasts now. I really wanted to have breasts when I was five. They could have turned out a little bigger, but I'm pleased enough with what I got. Seriously, it would be great if I could walk around feeling as super as I did when I was five, but I have a lot more on my mind now than I did then. Occasionally I get to experience pure moments of joy, and I appreciate being able to do that.

How did WOVO come about, and how long does it take, per song, to do?
WOVO stands for "With Our Voices Only," and it's a project I'm doing with my brother Chris, who just graduated college. We have a long list of songs -- mostly cheesy ones like "Careless Whisper" by George Michael, "Always Something There to Remind Me," "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo, "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrissette, and many more. Right now he really wants to do Tatu's "All the Things She Said."

The idea came about while I was driving Chris to the University of Pittsburgh, where he went to school (I can't remember if I was still in school there at the time). We were talking about how I do a good imitation of James Hetfield's voice. And we started singing "Enter Sandman" together, with him doing the guitar part and me doing the vocals. We decided to record our version someday and put it out on Napster as a Metallica song. This was before the whole Metallica/Napster controversy. It would have been funny to do that.

So last summer, Chris was studying in Sweden and I visited him for a week. During our lengthy walks around Stockholm, we did a lot of singing -- we sang songs from our childhood and teenagedom - show tunes, Boys 2 Men songs, that kind of thing. We decided to record an album of songs in which our voices would serve as the instruments as well as vocals.

The moment we committed ourselves to the project is clear in my mind: Stockholm around midnight, in the McDonald's by the train station. Kriss Kross's "Jump" was playing over the PA, and Chris and I were waiting for the train to take us back to Uppsala, where his dorm was. We started writing down songs on his map of Stockholm. When I got back to the States, I found MP3s of all of them and made each of us a CD to practice from.

Recording "Easy Lover," our first song (originally by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey), was a lot of fun. We used a four track and experimented with ways to match what we were doing with the original recording. I guess it ultimately took about 6 hours, but the next song will hopefully not take as long, since we've figured out how to record it. We just have to start practicing something new.

2: the not-heavy part
Describe a good night out on the town...
I'd eat dinner with a handful of people I like a lot. There could be some interesting people I don't know very well there, too. But the ideal group is probably five or six. Then we'd go out drinking and perhaps dancing and top it off with some karaoke. I would have amusing conversations with a couple of strangers. I wouldn't get too drunk. At 3 a.m. I would crash in bed, exhausted and fulfilled.

And a good night in the apartment, describe that, too.
There are a couple of different good apartment scenarios:

1. I'd be alone. I'd paint a little bit, then drink a couple of glasses of wine and lounge on my couch and watch a good movie. It would be early summer, just around sunset. The light would glow prettily through the living room window, and I'd feel like everything was perfect with the world. After the movie, I'd turn on the Phillies game and watch that for as long as I could take it. Baseball can be very meditative. If I'm not at a game, 15 minutes of televised baseball is about enough to make me glad to be alive. Then I'd read a few chapters of a good book and fall asleep.
2. I'd make dinner for someone special and relish the stimulating conversation. Then we'd retire to my room to listen to records and have… more conversations.

What have you been listening to?
David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Vibrators, Bob Dylan, The Flaming Lips, Edith Piaf, Etta James, Cat Power, Gram Parsons, Todd Rundgren. And I'm due to get a Hall and Oates album in the mail soon. I'm psyched.

Was hast you been been reading?

• Print Magazine
• My friends' web sites
• Haruki Murakami novels
• Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov
• An entertaining romance novel by one of Stephen's coworkers called The Affair
• Sanctuary by William Faulkner
• The Nanny Diaries by a couple of young women from New York (it's like a Babysitter's Club book for the 20-something woman -- my mom lent it to me, and I'm trying to read everything people have lent to me before I move, so that I have fewer stuff to move)

What have you been watching on TV?
I really don't watch much television. I've seen a couple of episodes of Smallville this season. I am into the guy who plays Lex Luther. I mean, I don't want to have sex with him, I just think he's fun to watch. I'd watch Home Movies (on the Cartoon Network) if I knew when it was on and they were showing new episodes.

Seen any movies lately? What did you think?
I recently watched Celine and Julie Go Boating, directed by Jacques Rivette, a French New Waver. It's about two women, identity, friendship, magic candy and a house in which the same scene is replayed every day. It now resides in my top five favorite movies list.

Otherwise, the Philadelphia Film Festival was a couple of weeks ago, and I got to see a bunch of awesome Japanese movies. Also, I'm a Netflix devotee thanks to Litza.

3: the cocktail party
So you're having a cocktail party: list five A-list guests, other than Jesus, me and your friends...

1. Maya Deren, an experimental filmmaker from the 1940s
2. John Cusack (I actually am not attracted to him -- contrary to the assumption that every Generation X woman is secretly in love with him -- but I think I'd like him, and I think all my friends would like him, too)
3. John Waters (someone else invited him to their party [Dan?] and I'm stealing him for mine)
4. John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats
5. Cindy Sherman, a photographer whose early work I envy

What drinks will you serve?
Well, there'd be a full bar. People could ask for anything they wanted. But maybe I'll invent a special "Beth Martini" exclusively for the evening. It would be a little sweet but have a bite to it. Like me! Not really.

What will be in the stereo?
I'd ask everyone to bring a mix CD. They'd be played randomly and everyone would have to guess whose CD was whose. The person who gets the most right gets to have control over the stereo, unless it's Jesus. Jesus is supposed to know everything, right? So we can't let him play. Because he probably hasn't really kept up with the times. Oh, but he knows everything, so I guess he has. That doesn't mean he'd have good taste, though.

Conversation topics will include…

- The popularity of the name "John"
- Favorite horror movies
- What it's like to be crucified
- Haiti
- How New York City has changed since the 1940s
- The charms of Baltimore
- Which actor everyone would want to play them in the stories of their lives
- The worst living situation everybody has experienced

Then we'd play Truth or Dare. Nah, actually I think people would start conversing amongst themselves and have a nice time.

How will the evening end?
With an orgy, obviously. But Steve, you could leave the room so we wouldn't have to see each other naked. You could hang out with Jesus in the kitchen. But then you'd probably be into Cindy Sherman. So you and Cindy and whoever you brought as a guest could have a room to yourselves. We'd work something out.